ENG Joke- That's Not It

A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say, "That's not it" and put it down again.

This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested. The psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged, and wrote out his discharge from the army.

• deranged adj. 紊亂的、瘋狂的
• discharge
• n.
• 解職令、退伍證明書
• 釋放、解雇
• 排出、流出
• 執行、履行
• 卸貨
• 發射、開砲
  
• v.
• 使免除、使卸脫+from
• 允許離開、釋放、解雇
  
• 排放(液體)
• 卸貨+from/of
• (槍砲的)發射+at/into
  
• (水泡)出水
• 撤銷(法院命令)
  

The soldier picked it up, smiled and said, "That's it."

ENG Joke- Flight School

A blonde went to a flight school, insisting she wanted to learn to fly that day. As all the planes were currently in use, the owner agreed to instruct her on how to pilot the helicopter solo by radio.

He took her out, showed her how to start it, and gave her the basics and sent her on her way.

After she climbed 1000 feet, she radioed in. "I'm doing great! I love it! The view is so beautiful, and I'm starting to get the hang of this."

• get the hang of.. 漸入佳境
  

After 2000 feet, she radioed again, saying how easy it was becoming to fly. The instructor watched her climb over 3000 feet, and was beginning to worry that she hadn't radioed in.

A few minutes later, he watched in horror as she crashed about half a mile away. He ran over and pulled her from the wreckage.

• wreckage n. 失事、遭難；(失事的)殘骸
  

When he asked what happened, she said, "I don't know! Everything was going fine, but as I got higher, I was starting to get cold.

"I can't remember anything after I turned off the big fan......"

ENG Joke- A Cowboy Rides Into Town

A cowboy rode into town and stopped at the saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on newcomers. When he finished, he found his horse had been stolen.

• saloon n. 酒吧、小酒館
  

He comes back into the bar, handily flips his gun into the air, catches it above his head without even looking and fires a shot into the ceiling. "Who stole my horse?" he yelled with surprising forcefulness.

• handily adj. 靈巧的、熟練的、便利的
• flip
• v.
• 輕拋、擲(硬幣) flip a coin
• 輕擊、輕彈、輕拍
• 快速翻閱+through
• 使翻轉+over
• 使激動、使高興；(因激動、憤怒)使變得狂熱
• 蹦蹦跳跳的走動
• adj.
• 【口】魯莽的、無禮的、油腔滑調的
  
• forcefulness n. 堅強、有力
  

No one answered.

"I'm gonna have another beer and if my horse ain't back outside by the time I'm finished, I'm gonna do what I dun back in Texas and I don't want to have to do what I dun back in Texas!"

Some of the locals shifted restlessly.

• restlessly adv. 不安的、慌張的
  

He had another beer, walked outside, and his horse was back! He saddled up and started to ride out of town.

• saddle
• v.
• 裝馬鞍+up
• 跨上馬鞍
• 使負擔、強加+on/upon/with
  
• n.
• 馬鞍、車座
  

The bartender wandered out of the bar and asked, "Say partner, what happened in Texas?"

The cowboy turned back and said, "I had to walk home!"