ENG Joke- Clarification of Hiring Lingo

• lingo n. 行話、隱語
  

Competitive Salary - We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

Join Our Fast-Paced Company - We have no time to train you.

Casual Work Atmosphere - We don't pay you enough to expect that you will dress up.

Must Be Deadline Oriented - You will be six months behind schedule on your first day.

Some Overtime Required - Some time each night and some time each weekend.

Duties Will Vary - Anyone in the office can boss you around.

Must Have An Eye For Detail - We have no quality control.

Career-Minded - Female applicants must be childless (and stay that way).

Apply In Person - If you're fat, old, or ugly, you will be told the position has been filled.

No Phone Calls Please - We already have someone for the job, our call for resumes is just a legal formality.

Seeking Candidates With A Wide Variety of Experience - You will need it to replace three people who have just left.

Problem Solving Skills A Must - You are walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

• perpetual a. 連續不斷的
  

Requires Team Leadership Skills - You will have the responsibilities of a manager; without the pay or respect.

Good Communication Skills - Management communicates; you listen, figure out what they want, and do it.