ENG Joke- Politician's Sandwich

On the Listening Tour, a prominent politician was pleased and proud that the local sandwich shop in a town he was visiting had named a sandwich after him.

He was somewhat less pleased after he found out what was in it.

"Mostly baloney," said the proprietor.

• baloney n.
  
• 燻腸
• 一派胡言
  

ENG Joke- Language Lesson

A friend of mine is an officer in the naval reserve.

• naval reserve 海軍後備隊
  

A few weeks ago, he was attending a conference that included admirals in both the US and the French navies.

• admiral n. 海軍上將
  

At a cocktail reception, my friend found himself in a small group that included an admiral from each of the two navies.

The French admiral started complaining that whereas Europeans learned many languages, Americans only learned English.

He then asked. "Why is it that we have to speak English in these conferences rather than you having to speak French?"

Without even hesitating, the American admiral replied.

"Maybe it's because we arranged it so that you didn't have to learn to speak German."

The group became silent.
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hahahaha! you have to understand the delicate relations/history among these nations and you can fully enjoy this joke. hahahaha!

ENG Joke- Repeat Offender

• offender n.
  
• 冒犯者
• 違法者、犯規的人
  

A judge scowled down at a repeat offender before him. "Haven't I seen you in here many times already? And didn't I tell you that I never wanted to see you in here again?"

• scowl v. 顯怒容、沉下臉來(+at)
  

"Yes, Your Honor," the defendant replied. "That's exactly what I told the police officer, but he insisted I come in anyway!"

ENG words

pariah \puh-RYE-uh\ noun
印度階級中的賤民
被鄙視或排斥的人
1 : a member of a low caste of southern India
*2 : one that is despised or rejected : outcast

Example sentence:
Sasha became a pariah among the experts in her field after publishing a highly inflammatory article.

• inflammatory adj. 激動的
  

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consequential \kahn-suh-KWEN-shul\ adjective
間接的
隨之而來的
重要的
1 : of the nature of a secondary result : indirect
2 : following as a result or effect : consequent
*3 : having significant consequences : important

Example sentence:
Who would have thought stepping off the elevator on the wrong floor that day would be such a consequential moment in Wayne's life?

關聯字：

• consequence n.
  
• 結果、後果
• 重大、重要性
• 自大
• 推論
• consequent
• adj.
  
• 因..結果而引起的、隨之發生的(A severe flood struck the city and there was a consequent shortage of food.)
• 邏輯上一致的

• n. 結果、隨後的事

ENG words

tortuous \TOR-chuh-wus\ adjective
(道路)蜿蜒曲折的
囉囌的、不正直的、陰險的
*1 : marked by repeated twists, bends, or turns : winding
2 a : marked by devious or indirect tactics : crooked, tricky b : circuitous, involved

• devious adj. 蜿蜒的；步入歧途的、不坦率的
• crooked adj. 彎曲的、變形的；不正當的、不坦率的
• circuitous adj. 迂曲的、繞行的
  

Example sentence:
The road over the mountains was long and dangerously tortuous.
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weal \WEEL\ noun= wealth
福利、好運道
: a sound, healthy, or prosperous state : well-being

Example sentence:
"During his two years as county judge, other qualities ... became apparent. One was an unusual ability to persuade men to sacrifice for a common weal." (Robert Caro, The New Yorker, January 15, 1990)
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dearth \DERTH\ noun
缺乏、不足
饑荒
1 : scarcity that makes dear; specifically : famine
*2 : an inadequate supply : lack

• scarcity n. 缺乏、匱乏
  

Example sentence:
Teri had forgotten to bring a book, and the dearth of reading material in her uncle's house had her visiting the town library the first morning of her stay.
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jeunesse dorée \zheuh-ness-dor-RAY\ noun
: young people of wealth and fashion

Example sentence:
"On any sunny afternoon in Dublin, you will see the jeunesse dorée taking their ease under the awnings of pavement cafes." (Bruce Anderson, The Spectator, July 2001)

• awning n. 天棚
  

ENG words

discomfit \diss-KUM-fit\ verb
1.破壞、擾亂(計畫)
2.使為難
1 : to frustrate the plans of : thwart
*2 : to put into a state of perplexity and embarrassment : disconcert

• thwart v. 挫敗、阻撓
• adj. adv. 橫放著、橫的
• perplexity n. 困惑、茫然
• disconcert v. 使困惑、使張惶失措；挫折、擾亂(計畫)
  

Example sentence:
The governor appeared to be discomfited by the reporter's question, and he struggled for a way to change the subject.

ENG words

delate \dih-LAYT\ verb
1.控告
2.公開
*1: accuse, denounce
2 : report, relate

• denounce v. 指責、譴責
  

Example sentence:
"In that year Archbishop Blackadder of Glasgow delated some thirty heretics to James IV who let the matter go with a jest." (J.D. Mackie, A History of Scotland)

• Archbishop n. 樞機主教
• heretics n. 異教徒
• jest n. 笑料

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dog days \DOG-DAYZ\ noun
大熱天
*1 : the hot sultry period of summer between early July and early September in the northern hemisphere
2 : a period of stagnation or inactivity

• sultry adj. 悶熱的、酷熱的
  
• stagnation n. 淤塞、停滯
  

Example sentence:
With the steamy dog days upon us, air conditioners are selling like hotcakes.

ENG Joke- Never Felt Better

One day in court, the prosecuting lawyer asked the farmer on the witness stand, "At the scene of the accident, did you tell the policeman you had never felt better in your life?"

• prosecute v. 起訴、告發
  

"That's right." The farmer replied.

"Well, then, how is it that you are now claiming you were seriously injured when my client's auto hit your wagon?"

The farmer explained. "When the policeman arrived, he went over to my horse, who had a broken leg, and shot him. Then he went over to Rover, my dog, who was all banged up, and shot him.

"When he asked me how I felt, I just thought, under the circumstances, it was a wise choice of words to say 'I've never felt better in my life.'"

ENG Joke- Pull Buddy

An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse, named Buddy. He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, "Pull, Nellie, pull!" Buddy didn't move.

• out-of- towner n. 【口語】市外居民
• ditch n. 壕溝
• desolate adj. 荒蕪無人煙的
• hitch v. 鉤住、套住
  

Then the farmer hollered, "Pull, Buster, pull!" Buddy didn't respond.

• holler v. 大聲叫喊
  

Once more the farmer commanded, "Pull, Coco, pull!" Nothing.

Then the farmer nonchalantly said, "Pull, Buddy, pull!" And the horse easily dragged the car out of the ditch.

• nonchalantly adv. 冷淡地、漫不關心地
  

The motorist was most appreciative and very curious. He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three times.

The farmer said, "Oh, Buddy is blind and if he thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldn't even try."

ENG Joke- Too Much Sugar

A fellow nurse at my hospital received a call from an anxious patient.

"I'm diabetic and I'm afraid I've had too much sugar today." the caller said.

"Are you light-headed?" my colleague asked.

• light-headed adj. 頭昏眼花
  

"No," the caller answered, "I'm a brunette."

• brunette n. 具深黑色頭髮與淺黑色皮膚的女子
  

ENG Joke- Boots

Did you hear about the teacher who was helping one of her kindergarten students put on his boots?

He asked for help and she could see why. With her pulling and him pushing, the boots still didn't want to go on. When the second boot was on, she had worked up a sweat. She almost whimpered when the little boy said, "Teacher, they're on the wrong feet." She looked and sure enough, they were.

• whimper v. 抽咽
  

It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on, this time on the right feet. He then announced, "These aren't my boots."

She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream,"Why didn't you say so?" like she wanted to.

Once again she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off. He then said, "They're my brother's boots. My Mom made me wear them."

She didn't know if she should laugh or cry. She mustered up the grace and courage she had left to wrestle the boots on his feet again. She said, "Now, where are your mittens?"

• muster up v. 振作起來
• wrestle v. 角力、搏鬥
• mitten n. 連指手套
  

He said, "I stuffed them in the toes of my boots..."

Her trial starts next month.